He ain't heavy.....

Being a kid in the 70’s was a special time. I’m the youngest of six kids in my family – 4 sisters and 1 brother. The summers always consisted of Indian ball, building forts, kick the can, swimming, building a golf course in our yard, bottle rocket fights (not recommended), catching tadpoles and keeping them until they turned into frogs, playing Jarts (also not recommended), ringing doorbells, truth or dare, etc. The winters were all about hockey. Remember the ugly black leather roller skates with the steel wheels? We had some great games in our neighborhood.

On Thanksgiving Day in 1971, in the words of Gus Kyle, we had a “barn burner.” I was wearing my #4 Boston Bruins jersey (you better know who that is) while my older brother Jimmy donned his typical Blues #5 Bobby Plager jersey. Jimmy always made sure we were on the same team. I was always looking to score. Jimmy was always looking to hip check his next victim. Near the end of our game, I had a breakaway with that stupid red plastic puck that bounced more than it slid. One of the older Slattery boys knocked me flying on the cold concrete. I cracked my elbow and was seething in pain. I held my big brother’s hand as he helped me up, crying uncontrollably. What happened next went down in St. Francis of Assisi School lore. Jimmy walked over to that Slattery kid, picked him up off his feet and threw him in his own front yard. The gloves dropped and a brawl broke out. Everyone got involved. One of the parents had to come out and break it up. The game quickly ended, but the message from Jimmy was crystal clear – you mess with my little brother, you mess with me. It was always like that for me growing up with Jimmy.

On October 8^th 2014, I once again held my big brother’s hand and was again crying hard - only this time the circumstances were much different.  Four weeks earlier, Jimmy was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. My big brother was dying, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.


For any one of you who’ve had to endure this type of pain with a loved one, my heart goes out to you. For the first time ever, I understand. Going three rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime would have been much easier than this type of pain. Life for four weeks was anything but routine. I’d go to work in a catatonic state. I’d cry alone, or with family. I didn’t want to feel happy or really talk to anyone. I just wanted to be with my big brother. So on that day, I held his hand and kissed him on the forehead. I told him that I loved him and no matter what happens, we’ll always be together.

On Thursday October 9^th, at the age of only 56, Jimmy passed away. He leaves behind his wife Connie of 36 years, his 3 children Erin, Michael and Jim III, his mother, 4 sisters, 3 grandchildren, a multitude of friends…. and one little brother. God, do I miss him.

As I walked by his casket for the last time on October 14^th, I tucked a letter next to him in hopes that he has already read it. God bless all of you at Holy Infant for your prayers and support for me and my family. We are blessed to have you in our lives. Stay tight with your family. Stay tighter with our Lord. Here’s a portion of that letter:

“There are 4 things you should know Jim. #1 – Connie is amazing. She never left your side. She made sure you were always comfortable, taking care of your every need. Of course, I never met Mother Theresa. But watching Connie resemble her was something to behold. You were one lucky man to have her as your wife.

#2 – You have beautiful kids. This was hard on them, yet they persevered and kept a strong faith. Erin was always by your side. Her journal updates on Caring Bridge were heart felt and kept us all in the loop. Jim III spent just about every night at home during your final week to help you and Connie. Michael made the drive twice to be sure he was here with you at the end. Although you will not be here to see Michael & Mallory’s baby, we will be sure your grandchild will know the kind of man you were.

#3 – has to do with your friends. Where did you meet these people and how did you become friends with them? I want to know, because they are very special to me and our family. I could clearly see the pain etched in their faces during your sickness – having to console some of them as they cried and talked about you. Some I know, but others I just met. JV, Ed, Jeanne, Tommy, Susie, Jim, Patti, Gary, Kevin, Rick, Steve and on and on it goes. I’m so proud you were able to find such humble, caring quality people. This goes way beyond friendship. These people loved you unconditionally. To them, you were like a brother. To us, they are extended family. I hope some of your buddies invite me out for a beer sometime. I could never replace you, but I’d sure love to hear them regal stories about you.

#4 – You have a great mother and 4 sisters. Witnessing their faith is such an inspiration. They spent nights with you at the hospital, holding your hand, kissing you, talking, praying, and crying. As brothers, we are very blessed to have such loving and caring sisters.

And then there’s the 85 year old true rock of faith – Mom. She kept praying to God – “please take me, not my son.” But Mom’s time has not yet come. God still needs her to help others. And let’s be honest….with all the many prayers you’ve received, I think Mom’s might have a more direct link to our Lord. Mom is still here to help you get to heaven. She is so proud of you Jim, and how you tried to fight this. I know you love her very much. We’ll take good care of her – don’t worry.

I’m going to have to single out our RN big sis Kathi. She made sure you received the absolute best medical care and was with Connie every step of the way. She was always by your side – checking your vitals, blood pressure, temperature, etc. She was the family spokesperson every time there was news on your health. I say this again – what a blessing to have such a wonderful gift as we have with sister Kathi.

Thank you for being my Best Man when Diane and I got married. Thank you for being Ryan’s Godfather. Thank you for teaching me how to play chess, how to hunt, how to skin rabbits and squirrels, and how to change a flat tire. I did none of these well, but you still showed me. Thank you for protecting me during street roller hockey games with neighborhood kids.

But most of all, thank you for being such a simple man who people loved to be around. You always knew who you were, not some “wanna be” type person with a chip on their shoulder who got sucked in by the secular world we live in. You stayed true to your roots big brother. At 56, you were married for 36 years, worked for a Fortune 100 company for 30 years without a college education, raised three great kids who are contributing to society, put them through private education and college, devoted time to handicapped children through the Gateway Sports Guild, loved your wife, children, grandchildren, siblings, mother, and a countless number of other family and friends. Your time was cut much too short, but what a fruitful life. You should be very proud Jim. We sure are proud of you.

Now, here’s the best part. Our faith has always taught us this. The goal is simple, but the journey isn’t so simple. We want to be sure you get to heaven. We’ll do our part down here through continued prayer. You gotta do your part too. I’m hoping you received special graces for the suffering you had to endure. Continue to do whatever God asks you to do and get there as quickly as possible. I hope and pray you’re already there big brother. Because one day if I get there, God willing, I will see you again. It may not be for a while, but it will be worth the wait. I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN! So long for now. I love you.”

Sean