Monday, March 26, 2018

Into The Dark

Holy Week is upon us. Easter is nearly here. How are you spending the next few days?

I can tell you that I will take time soon and journey into the woods for a night. There I will find quiet, and time for contemplation and reflection. I will have no phone, no internet, and no outside communication. It is honestly one of my favorite days of the year.

As an aside for anyone with ill intent, since this is posted publicly on the web, I should mention that my two oldest boys will be home from college, and my home and family will be well guarded in my absence. More importantly, prayers for my family will be flooding into heaven from amidst the forests of rural Missouri. I trust that their guardian angels will be on full alert. Plus, I have nothing worth stealing.

Why do I go into the woods alone? As I mentioned, there is time for silent reflection. There is opportunity to marvel at the beauty and grandeur God has created all around us. Daytime, surrounded by the spring blooms spread over hills and valleys, presents a very peaceful setting. Also, in the blackness of night I am faced with fear. I am a spec amidst the trees. The sounds of wildlife surround me. Rustling, stepping, howling, and occasionally growling. Whether all real, or some imagined, alone in the dark, I am faced with physical and mental fear. I have nothing to turn to except faith and prayer.



In my warm life, in my soft home, I do not often face true fear. Stress I have in abundance. But stress is something different. Over a decade ago when my infant daughter was diagnosed with cancer, I learned what true fear was. That night of her diagnosis was the darkest of my life. That night my prayers felt the most real. That night I offered up my faith to be tested.

And so it is in the woods. As the sun sets amidst the trees, all of the beauty of nature turns to black. I can no longer see. Light abandons me. My senses betray me. As I pray the Rosary, the mysteries become more real. I can feel the Agony in the Garden, if only the tiniest taste of what Jesus certainly faced. As I shuffle across the terrain, I recite Psalm 23 over and over in my head, and can picture why it was written. ”Even though I walk in the dark valley, I fear no evil, for you are at my side, with your rod and staff that give me courage.” I can imagine a hint of the loneliness Jesus must have felt, while I pray for courage.

My shoulders twinge along the last stretch, and I think of how my padded backpack is only a fraction of the weight of the wooden timbers digging into Jesus’ back. The Stations of the Cross play out in my mind. My head is light and my legs begin to tire from the day’s fast. Each stone becomes a tripping hazard and an opportunity to stumble and fall.

As I stop and pick a spot for the night, and a chill washes over me, I can imagine Peter huddled in the courtyard. Despite life and activity all around him, he had no hope for friends or comfort, only fear that he would be approached and confronted. Dread that he would have to face evil and be tested. I understand why his absolute fear may have caused his thrice betrayal.

Eventually I must surrender, and I give myself over to exhaustion and to sleep. With only black surrounding me, I have faith that the next morning the sun’s rays will burst over the horizon. All will be new and beautiful. Until then, I must endure the quilted, nylon tomb that is zipped up tight around me. I must drift into the darkness and wait. It is not a comforting sleep. The hours pass slowly, and I wait.


Easter is a beautiful day. It is the most glorious of creation. But amidst our shopping for candy and jelly beans, colorful eggs and pastel clothes, we must remember the days leading up to Easter. Without the events of Holy Thursday and Good Friday, without the betrayal and crucifixion, without the breaking and the sacrifice, without the darkness and loneliness and fear coming first, there would be no Glorious Resurrection. Perhaps Holy Saturday was the biggest test of faith. A day of seemingly dark nothingness the disciples had to endure before the sunrise of redemption. Without the full Triduum, our mass would not exist. Our salvation would not have been won.

You may not be able to journey into the woods by yourself, but I invite you to at least spend an hour in adoration, or time in silent prayer, especially if you are not used to doing so. So many people take time to watch ‘The Passion of The Christ’ movie. Not because they don’t know the story, but because its scenes bring true discomfort, and sadness, and force thoughts of what Jesus may have endured. Remember the reading from Palm Sunday, and open up your bible and read it again. Ponder the full events of Holy Week. And then rejoice even Greater at Jesus’ Glory on Easter.

An abundance of Blessings to you and your families. Happy Easter to all of you…just not quite yet.

-Matt Buehrig


Tuesday, March 20, 2018

I Make All Things New

We are quickly approaching the summit of the Liturgical Year - the Easter Triduum, from the evening of Holy Thursday to the evening of Easter Sunday.  One thing I will do before this time begins is watch The Passion of The Christ in hopes that my soul will move into the right space to experience this time with the right attitude and focus.  I planned to write today on how this movie spurs that movement, but in Gods providence I found someone who has already expressed this, and in a story much more profound and meaningful than anything I would have written.  

And so I share hoping you to will be so moved...


https://aleteia.org/2018/03/20/seeing-gods-grace-in-a-movie-theater/



May the God of all creation Make All Things New for you this Easter....

Friday, March 16, 2018

The Power of the Youth

“We are going to revitalize the Catholic Church, and we are going to do it with teenagers!”

A bold statement from a bishop, desperately searching for a way to bring life back to his flock.  Our church is at a major crossroads.  80% of Catholics leave the faith before they are 23.  Only 7% of millennials raised Catholic still practice today (Mass weekly, pray a few times a week, say faith is “extremely” important).

It’s hard to envision, since our church seems so vibrant.  Imagine what it would be like if they announced that they finally buried the last parishioner of Holy Infant.  They say that the single largest religious group in America is non practicing Catholics. 

There is one organization that I have come across that is uniquely equipped to battle back against this trend.  Life Teen.  Life Teen launched in 1985 as a parish based youth ministry program in Mesa, AZ and is now in 31 countries and over 1,800 parishes.  (There are over 200,000 parishes in the world).  The results are astounding and I’ve seen it first-hand.  If you look just at the crisis of religious vocations, almost half of all current seminarians in the U.S. were involved with Life Teen in some way.  Here in St. Louis I know of a parish that had never had a member enter the religious life since its inception.  Life Teen was launched there and in the last 20 years, there have been over 30 that have entered the religious life.

If we want to bring families back into a deeper relationship with Christ and His church, this is a way we can do it.  Anyone who has raised a teenager, knows what a powerful force they are.  I have witnessed teens fall in love with their faith and bring their entire family back to church.  I’ve heard grown men in tears speak about how they realize now that they were leading their family in the wrong direction, and point to their teen and youth group as the catalyst that put him on the path.

Youth group used to be just another class for teenagers.  Life Teen does share the teachings of the church, but the main focus is on relational ministry.  Teens need an adult, other than their parents, who hear them and cares about them.  You don’t have to be a bible scholar, you need to show up to their soccer games.  It’s not about telling them that they are sinful, it’s about loving them where they are at, and just sharing the journey with them.

I’ve been blessed to visit some amazing religious sites around the world.  I’ve had the opportunity to serve the poorest communities, and help them have access to basic necessities.  Even though these things have been incredibly fulfilling, when I see a 14 year old kid, who is lost in darkness and depression, step into the light, and find true joy.  There is nothing like it.  That joy only comes from one source.  I remember when someone asked Mother Teresa if she thought she would be able to end the poverty some day in Calcutta she answered, “We are not trying to end poverty.  We do this because it is our way of being able to see Christ.” 


There is great hope for the future, regardless of what the news and the statistics might say.  Support Life Teen, either financially, or volunteer.  No you don’t have to be a 25 year old comedian who plays the guitar.  You just need to know Jesus, and love teens.

                                       Click here to learn more about Life Teen

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Finding the Face of the Father


The people stood there watching, and the leaders kept jeering at him saying, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, the chosen one….  If you are king of the Jews, save yourself.”  This jeering was not the first time.  Didn’t the devil tempt our Lord in the desert in the same manner?   There was an inscription over his head: “THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.” In his incarnation, in the shared fullness of humanity and creation, Jesus cries out in agony, suffering, pain, abandoned, disowned, rejected, outcast.  (“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mt 27: 46)
            One of the criminals hanging in crucifixion blasphemed him: “Aren’t you the Messiah?  Then save yourself and us.”  The crowds, the soldiers, and one hung beside him are mocking, taunting the Son of Man!  But the other one rebuked him: “Have you no fear of God, seeing you are under the same sentence?  We deserve it after all.  We are only paying the price for what we have done, but this man has done nothing wrong.”  He then said, “Jesus, remember me when you enter upon your reign.”  In anguish and despair, did Jesus find validation, hope, strength, trust in the eyes of God, in the eyes of the Father mirrored in the face of the criminal?  And Jesus replied, “I assure you: this day you will be with me in paradise.”
            It was now around midday, and darkness came over the whole land ….  Jesus uttered a loud cry and said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”  Luke 23: 35-46

How is it that Jesus, a man who never sought his own advantage over anyone, who healed the blind, sick, and lame, who raised loved ones from the dead, who filled those in his presence with love, compassion, and mercy, who fed the hungry, could be tried and put to death?  From my position in the crowd, I’ve always blended Matthew’s and Luke’s accounts of Jesus’ crucifixion.  I grew to believe Jesus’ intense spiritual and mental anguish and isolation in the garden to be far more distressing and despairing than any physical pain.  Denying Jesus, lusting for power, materialism, violence, and the disregard for life hung our Savior upon a cross. 

I cling to my moments of doubt refusing to let go of my pain, my lack of faith to surrender to the Father as I watch and consider Jesus, fully human, in his moments of doubt to surrender.  Where was God?  Did He, too, abandon Jesus condemned by those he loved?  We are told God is always present.  Where was God at that moment?  Was He present in the thief hanging beside Jesus? The thief spoke words of awareness.
 When Jesus looked into the criminal’s eyes, who did he see?
Franciscan author, Fr. Richard Rohr writes, “We can’t seem to know the good news that we are God’s beloveds on our own.  It has to be mirrored to us.  We’re essentially social beings.  Another has to tell us we are beloved and good.”  
How do we allow others to be the face of God to us?
I know I receive Christ illumined in the faces of men in PX90, parishioners, family, friends, students, occasional strangers ….
Though we may be corrupted, how can we still mirror the face of God, provide hope, lift others, ask for forgiveness, give mercy? 
God doesn’t love you or me because we are good.  God loves us because God is good!  I am incredibly humbled knowing I am often in the crowd persecuting, jeering the Man carrying the cross to his death only for Him to reveal his generous, undying love for me!