Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to go right now!

My grandma passed away yesterday.  When I tell people that I always get, “Oh, I’m so sorry.  How old was she?”  She was 109.  People are quite amazed and pleased to hear that someone can live that long.  I can’t help but wonder if they are really determining for themselves, how sad the situation is.  If someone lived to 109, then they were lucky. If someone died at 40 or 20, it’s such a shame.  Their life was cut short.  It should have been longer.  Based on what exactly?

I sometimes think that in some way we are really wanting to get some affirmation that our own death is far off and not something we need to worry about.  If someone dies at a young age, we want to know what happened, in part, because we want to make sure it doesn’t happen to us.  Where does all of this fear of death come from?  Our own doubts of the afterlife?   The fear that we didn’t accomplish a significant life while here on earth?  As Catholics we believe that all life is a gift from God and is precious.  That theological truth therefore doesn’t change based on age.  God sees each soul, regardless of how long it has been in a body on earth, as equally perfect and valuable.

Now enters our vantage point where we don’t see things as God, but through our human selfishness and doubt. Ask yourself how your reaction changes to someone who lost an 8 year old son versus a 109 year old grandma?  Or maybe a three week old fetus?  If God sees all of these lives as precious and equal, maybe it’s time we try to think that way too.  I’m not in a rush to die, but I don’t want to live fearing death either.  

If I really believe in life after death, and I compare my time here on earth to my time in eternity, then why am I so worried?  Does it really matter if I die at 60 vs 80?  Just typing that, every ounce of me is saying, “Die at 60? That’s only 12 years from now?  I still have so much I want to do!  I’m not ready!”  I guess my will to live is part of God’s design for me.  It gives me purpose and drive to make something of myself with the time I have.  I wonder what my grandma would think about all of this.  Did she feel more blessed living to 109 than my dad, her son,  who died at 72?  Maybe how long we live on this earth isn’t really the measure of your blessing after all.  Maybe it’s the love we’ve received and shared while we were here.  Maybe I should worry less about when I’m going to die, and focus more on how I’m going to live.  How can we make sure we are living deeply with purpose and grace?

Trimming Season

This past Sunday, the Church celebrated Septuagesima, according to the traditional calendar. Septuagesima marks 70 days until Easter. It also marks the beginning of what’s referred to as the “pre-lent” period.

Why do we need a pre-lent period? Well, if you’re anything like me, some of your past Lenten experiences may have gone like this:

Oh wow, it’s Fat Tuesday, I’d better think about what I’m doing for Lent, but since today is a celebration, I think I’ll just enjoy myself and think about the difficult stuff later. Along comes Ash Wednesday, and then I realize that I haven’t set a resolution yet. Ok, it’s Lent now, and I don’t have much time to figure it out so I’m going to give up coffee. I love coffee, and Lent is supposed to be a time for penance so that seems like a good plan. It’s three days into Lent, and I’m miserable. I realize that I bit off more than I can chew, and I have a cup of coffee. I’m ashamed that I couldn’t follow through on my Lenten promise, and I carry this regret through the rest of the season.

One of the remedies to a “failed” Lent, such as the one I just described, is proper planning. The beauty of the pre-lent season is that it gives us the time to reflect on what God is calling us to do during Lent. The season of Lent is a time of penance, but it is also a season of renewal.

Consider a tree that has weathered storms and disease. Some of its branches are soft and rotten. The entire tree may need to be cut down unless these branches are removed. So, the dead branches are carefully removed. Removing the branches is not enough though. To flourish, the tree’s roots need to be treated with fertilizer. Rain and sunshine sustain the tree. New shoots of green branches gradually spring fourth from the areas where the dead branches once hung.

Our experience during Lent is not much different than that of the withered tree. Sin wears down our souls. Depending on our sacramental life, our sin may have even caused part of our soul to die. There is a process involved with healing the brokenness of sin.

First, we work to remove our attachment to sin by cutting out harmful habits from our lives. This penitential process is directed by our Lord who said, “And if thy right hand scandalize thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is expedient for thee that one of thy members should perish, rather than that thy whole body be cast into hell”(1). We mortify our bodies in order to remove the parts of us that are dead, withered, and that lead us into sin.

Next, we must turn to God. Our loving Father seeks to be united with us. He loves us deeply, even in our sin. However, this sin keeps us from truly uniting ourselves with God as we have chosen to turn our souls from Him. Mortification works to reorient our souls to God. Prayer is what begins to heal us.

Mortification and union with God are two of the most powerful weapons in our journey to find healing from sin. When the disciples failed to cast out a powerful demon from a man’s son, Jesus reminded them of the power of these two practices: “this kind is not cast out but by prayer and fasting”(2). Fasting smolders the fire of sin that rages in us. Prayer clears away the rubble and prepares the charred ground to receive new life. Without these powerful remedies, sin rages within us and consumes our souls.

When the fires of sin are extinguished by prayer and fasting, Our hearts are open to the nourishment of God’s presence. The Psalms tell us of how God cares for us: “Thou hast visited the earth, and hast plentifully watered it; thou hast many ways enriched it. The river of God is filled with water, thou hast prepared their food: for so is its preparation. Fill up plentifully the streams thereof, multiply its fruits; it shall spring up and rejoice in its showers. Thou shalt bless the crown of the year of thy goodness: and thy fields shall be filled with plenty”(3).

The process of regeneration concludes with the birth of new life. Nourished by the love of the Father, our lives bear fruit. As sin is conquered and we turn to God in prayer, His love begins to grow within our hearts. The natural consequence of God’s love dwelling within us is to reflect this love outward towards others: “Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but upon a candlestick, that it may shine to all that are in the house”(4). Charity is the fruit that is borne from prayer and fasting.

Another word for charity is alms. Filled with God’s love, the joy of His presence manifests itself in good deeds towards others. We show our love for others because they are loved by God. This love can take on many forms. When most of us hear the word almsgiving, we may be inclined to cover our wallets. Donating money may be an appropriate way of showing forth the new life within us. We may also consider asking the Holy Spirit how He wants us to share the joy of His presence with others. He might ask us to show mercy to a difficult coworker, to listen to our wives with more attention and concern, or to simply spend more time playing with our kids.

Wherever the Spirit leads us this Lent, we can be assured that He will provide us with what we need when we need it: “And God is able to make all grace abound in you; that ye always, having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work”(5). Through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, we are able to weaken the bonds of sin, unite our will with God’s, and become a witness to God’s boundless love. While it’s easy to pick one of these areas to focus on during lent, consider what would happen to the tree if we only removed the dead branches: will new growth occur if it doesn’t receive the nutrients that it needs to flourish? Does the tree hide this new growth, or do the humble fresh shoots show forth for the passersby to see?

Below are a few ideas for us as we prepare for Lent. Before we begin to discern what God is calling us to do this Lent, let’s remember that all of our efforts will be in vain unless we’re in a state of grace. Regardless of our plans for Lent, we should enter this season in the state of grace by making a good confession.

Prayer

• Do you pray every day? If not, set aside 15 minutes a day to grow close to our Lord in mental prayer. spend 15 minutes performing metal prayer. If you already perform mental prayer every day, then consider adding 10 minutes to each session.
• Do you attend Holy Mass outside of your Sunday obligation? If not, go to one Mass a week in addition to Sunday Mass. If you already attend one additional Mass each week, then consider attending another.
• Do you spend some time reading a good spiritual book each day? If not, spend at least 15 minutes each day reading a good spiritual book. If you already spend at least 15 minutes a day reading a good spiritual book, then add an additional 10 minutes of spiritual reading.
• Do you pray the Rosary every day? If not, then pray the Rosary (5 mysteries) every day. If you already pray 5 mysteries of the Rosary every day, then consider praying an entire Rosary every day (15 mysteries).
• Do you spend time with our Lord each day? If not, then spend 15 minutes in Eucharistic adoration or in front of a tabernacle. If you already spend at least 15 minutes with our Lord, each day, then consider adding another 10 minutes to each visit.

Fasting

• What is your principal vice (i.e. the sin that you struggle with most often)? Review the vices below and consider how you may practice the contrary virtue.
• Pride - Humility
• Anger - Gentleness
• Lust - Chastity
• Gluttony - Temperance
• Avarice - Generosity
• Sloth - Diligence
• Eat less than you want at one meal each day or at every meal
• Don’t hit the snooze button
• Give up alcohol
• Take cold showers
• Give up sweets
• Give up meat
• Give up snacking
• Give up television
• Give up social media
• Give up watching reading, or listening to the news
• Drive to and/or from work in silence

Almsgiving 

• Spend time each day asking your wife about her day
• Dance with your wife
• Spend time each day asking your kids about their days
• Play with your kids
• Give 15 additional dollars each month to your parish
• Give 15 additional dollars each month to the poor
• Visit your mom and dad
• Visit your grandma or grandpa
• Visit a friend who you haven’t seen in a while
• Start a conversation with someone at work who you find difficult to deal with
• Volunteer at a charitable organization

References:

(1) Matthew 5:30

(2) Matthew 17:20

(3) Psalm 69:9-11

(4) Matthew 5:15

(5) 2 Corinthians 9:8

Image:

Felling a tree in the Vosges by Alfred Munnings (1918). Accessed via Books and Boots: reflections on books and art (https://astrofella.wordpress.com/2019/01/14/alfred-munnings-war-artist-army-museum/)

Angels Among Us

Have angels ever entered your life?  How do you know?  Who are they?

            As I moved through Advent scripture filled with angelic appearances, recent events have prompted me to ponder angels.  Though I have difficulty envisioning the angels of scripture, I do think they exist.

            The angel said:

            “Joseph, son of David, have no fear about taking Mary as your wife ….” Mt 1:20

            “Do not be frightened Zechariah; your prayer has been heard ….  Joy and gladness will be yours, ….” Lk 1:13-14

            “Rejoice, O highly favored daughter!  The Lord is with you.  Blessed are you among women.”  Lk 1:28

            “Do not fear, Mary.  You have found favor with God.  You shall conceive and bear a son and give him the name Jesus.”  Lk 1:30-31

            “The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.”  Lk 1:35

            “You have nothing to fear!  I come to proclaim good news to you – tidings of great joy to be shared by the whole people.”  Lk 2:10

            As I understand, angels generally appear to announce to folks to step-up into life rather than back down or away from life.  Despite fears, they encourage people to rise against sometimes unfathomable odds to inspire goodness, hope in others.  Angels add their light to the sum of God’s light.  They remind us, it is the collection of the days’ little events; crystal blue skies with a warm gentle breeze, a delicious meal with a good friend, a child’s wonder scattering dandelion seeds for the first time, a moment where one’s work made a positive difference; their sum is far greater than any grand event, for grand events are built upon such as these.  Angels disseminate joy!

Joy … gladness not based upon circumstance

            Kelly married my nephew, Tylan, on January 26, 2019.  They recently celebrated their first anniversary.  Kelly introduced her seven-year-old daughter, Emma, into their marriage creating a family of three and inheriting an extended bunch of nearly thirty.  Because she has family living in the St. Louis area, we’ve shared stories and laughter over evening BBQ.

            My parents along with my sisters and their families gathered in Wichita, KS, as we often do, in gratitude to celebrate Christmas.  This year, we welcomed a great grandchild and a new bride-to-be into the family.  Unexpected, Kelly, now battling cervical cancer, flew in from Florida. 

            Her body, compromised for dramatic weight loss, Kelly sported a stylish bandana where long sandy hair once grew.  We circled as a family for a game of white elephant, where either prank or practical gifts are chosen and stolen from one another in a light-hearted manner.  Despite fatigue, Kelly fired clever humor, sometimes satirical to others stealing her selection only for her to acquire another.  All thirty laughed and carried on.  Kelly proved a significant source to spawn it all. 

            Sensitive to Kelly, having journeyed with my wife through extensive cancer treatments, I wondered what cyclone of fears and questions must be pulsing through this young mother’s mind.  What and where were future treatments going to be as she’d been denied experimental trials due to Marfan’s Syndrome?  How was her new husband’s and her daughter’s relationship going to develop, given such a short time?  Traces found in her lungs and liver; where and how fast was cancer metastasizing next?  Who will my daughter become?  Whose lives will she touch?  How will bills get paid; medical, college loans, house payments?

Yet, for four days, discreetly sneaking away for naps, facing nausea and pain, Kelly joined family for meals, activities, socializing, everything right along with Emma!  She missed nothing.  In her struggles, Kelly brought an enduring gift; to prize our time together!

            Less than a week later, we all gathered again in Houston for my nephew Zach and Michelle’s wedding.  Two weeks shy of one year, Kelly joyfully reminisced her own wedding. She was aware of the family’s concerns for her failing health as she received an “In this family, no one fights alone” t-shirt with everyone’s signature scribbled upon it.  And yet, she gracefully, humorously deflected attention to focus on Zach and Michelle.  Spirited, Kelly danced both literally and figuratively.  She rested when needed.  Emma danced for joy!

                  

            In recent years, I received piano lessons from Linda, a talented pianist, music therapist, and friend.  She served many retirement residents and arranged music for her faith community.  Her ability to recall music and play the piano became arduous.  Alzheimer’s aggressively invaded.  No longer able to provide music to others, Linda’s skill for music reduced to fingering strings on her guitar. 

            I’m sure many would call the following a coincidence.  On a bright Monday afternoon, a card Linda sent arrived for my wife.  After reading it, my wife, with an affectionate smile, handed it to me.

            I imagined Linda’s tremored hand writing wriggled script across the humorous print.  “Now my memory ain’t what it use to be even my spelling is shot, but am going to remember you, my friend, all day on Mondays (day my wife received chemotherapies).  I’ve Declared Mondays “Terri DAY.”  You will be on My Mind, love and prayers, Thoughts especially on Mondays.  I promise no mushy stuff.  just Something to make you laugh! Laughter (and) my music has been my best medicine as I face memory loss.  So on Mondays you will get something to make you laugh.” 

            Even with Alzheimer’s, Linda remains a dedicated therapist! 

Through two months, I’ve been mentoring Ray (name changed) and developing his computer literacy, teaching him how to use a cell phone; though the physical phone, including my own, was not allowed in the prison.  Living in confinement for nearly three decades, makes learning technology discouraging.  Yet, Ray has a patient eagerness to learn.  Seems all the residents within the Transition Center (Dept. of Corrections facility for phase 1,2,3 parolees) recognize Ray for his enthusiasm often exchanging a fist pump or brother embrace.  Ray emphasizes peace to residents as he attempts to become more familiar with his Islamic faith. 

            A few days ago, Ray presented a medical record he wanted me to read.  What many didn’t know; depression can overwhelm him.  He lacks half his teeth on one side of his upper jaw and the opposite half on his lower jaw due to severe beatings from his mother.  I scanned numerous documented instances where his mother beat him as a child so severely, so often, he entered the emergency room with broken bones, trauma, and concussions.  Many required extended stays.  Thus far, Ray’s completed 27 years in prison for taking the life of another while under the influence of narcotics.  As a result, Ray suffers from Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

            When asked about his mother, he tears up as he says he loves her. 

            “She’s still living,” he tells me.  “I want to see her.”

He can’t seem to reconcile why she beat him.  She never visits.  He never knew his dad. 

            “Keep doing what you’re doing,” I advised.

            “What’s that?” he asked. 

            “Lifting the souls of the guys in here.”

            Ray smiled. “I will.”

Joan, a close friend and avid runner with a contagious sense of humor and vitality, was waylaid to discover ALS waged war on her body.  Throughout her ordeals, her husband, Tom, shared stories of Joan’s exhaustion, rapid muscle decline; ability to swallow, speak, run.  At one point, while sitting for her young niece, Joan intentionally decided to choose joy.

            Her children printed “I Choose Joy!” wristbands by the thousands.  Despite deteriorating strength, Joan delivered numerous presentations on behalf of the Muscular Dystrophy Association to heighten awareness that MDA’s research extended beyond Jerry’s Kids to adults.  Among many events, Joan led from her wheelchair annual ALS fundraising walks in Forest Park where she recalled racing 5K’s.

            Sensitive to drawing attention to herself, Joan blushed and spoke synthetically via an I-pad mike at ALS fundraisers organized by her children.  She always lifted, inspired her audience.  Presently, Joan runs and laughs with the Father.  Her children, grandchildren, friends have formed the Suke Strong Foundation to assist those struggling with ALS, most recently, a 31-year old mother caring for her newborn. 

            The foundation thrives on Joan’s spirit and joy!

These individuals and so many others you know have stepped up into life to inspire goodness, hope in others.  They share divine gifts that overwhelm, but can’t be explained.

Joy … gladness not based on circumstance.

My wish for you … joy!

PS.  Thought readers might enjoy this.  “Angels Among Us”  performed by Alabama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_4Xfj2LRSA