A Life Worth Living

We all work hard. We make sacrifices and struggle and sweat. We work, do chores, pay bills, and care for our kids and sometimes our parents. Why? What is the point of it all? Does it really make a difference? As I continue down my own journey God slowly reveals to me His design. I begin to see the graces that come from living a life of sacrificial love.

The heartbreaking loss of Tim Steenberge has helped provide some additional perspective on the “Why” in my life. All life is precious, but when tragedy happens to someone that you easily relate to, it has a deeper impact. Of all the beautiful words, song, and prayers said at Tim’s funeral, the most impactful for me was the bottle of wine that was brought up to the alter as part of the gifts. The explanation was printed on an insert in the bulletin. It was written by his wife Jeannie:

In the first years of our marriage, we took a weeklong vacation to visit the wine cellars of Burgundy.  By happenstance, we were privileged to get a private tour of Chateau Figeac by the owner.  We bought a bottle of 1988 St. Emilion, which promised to get better with age.  It was during this trip that we indulged ourselves in our wildest hopes for the future.  We hoped to have children, we hoped to always share the love we had for each other at that moment, we hoped we would have successful and fulfilling careers.  We decided we’d let the wine age over the years of our marriage and drink it on a special occasion.

Over the years, the bottle came with us through our many moves:  two countries, two states and four houses.  Periodically we’d talk about when we would open the wine.  Should we drink it at a graduation?  On an anniversary?  When would be the moment when we could celebrate the realization of all those dreams we dreamed in France?

On Christmas day, 2014, we decided the time had come.  We were blessed with the realization that our dreams had come true.  We didn’t want to wait for a “special” occasion like a wedding, because our everyday life together with our three beautiful children was the realization of everything we could possibly want.  We wanted to celebrate the ordinary, because every precious day with our little family was the realization of our wildest dreams.  We knew what we had.  We never took it for granted.  This is what will get me through the coming months and years.  That, and the love of our amazing family and friends.

What amazing fruits come from a life well lived, that is full of goodness, sacrifice, faith, and love. So next time you are getting frustrated or cynical, wondering why should I sow kindness when the world is so full of anger and resentment, think of Tim. And find the one you love and open that bottle you’ve been saving.

Detachment

I recently read this article from Psychology Today, which gives results from a study identifying Envy as the prominent character trait in the US today (the study placed people in 1 of 4 categories: Envious,Pessimist,Optimist and Trusting).  I would say its tough to argue with these findings. The author ties this data to the air of entitlement that floats over our country today:

This morning, as I was reading about the new game theory statistics showing almost one-third of a study population being driven primarily by envy, I couldn't help but see a correlation to the sense of entitlement that is sweeping our country. In my mind, feeling envious and entitlement go hand in hand. They are two sides of the same coin.

 If you are trying to raise kids today, then this idea is probably obvious to you, as you fight against it everyday - or if you get tired like me, you give in.  Combine this truth with the alarming loss of faith in recent times and the future can look quite grim.

The Prayer of St. Francis

by Fred Vilbig


Whenever St. Francis of Assisi would enter a church, he would look at the cross and pray, “I adore You, O Christ, and I praise You, for by Your Holy Cross You have redeemed the world.”

If you look around the world, it is easy to see that the world needs redemption. Yes, we are surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation, and, if we look hard enough, the beauty of people (some more evident than others). But we also see a lot of suffering. We see a lot of selfishness and self-love that distorts and perverts the beauty of creation. Yes, the world needs redemption.

Yet I don’t see redemption as a sort of legalistic type of reality. Our God is not the great accountant in the sky measuring and weighing our vices and our virtue; our sins and our acts of charity. That would be a cruel God, an uncaring God.

Our God is a God of love. He loves us more than we can possibly imagine. In a real sense, God longs for us in all love, truth, and beauty. He doesn’t love us in any kind of a selfish way. He already has the entire world, all the stars in heaven, and all the hosts of Angels adoring Him. What could we possibly add to Him or His Glory? No matter what society (or your mother) told you, you and I just really aren’t that important.

God loves us, because God is love itself. And all He wants from us is our love in return. He wants us to love Him fully and honestly and purely. He wants us to love Him perfectly, not because of what He gives us, or how we feel or what we get out of it.

He wants us to love him for His own sake, like Mother Teresa did. After Mother Teresa died, some of her letters came to light in which she discussed how dry her prayers had been for years, decades in fact. Some people were scandalized.

Others saw this as a sort of a blessing. Mother Teresa did not love the poor because of anything that it did for her. She loved and served the poor out of the pure, unselfish love of God. That is how God wants us to love Him.

That is how God loves us. He sent His only Son to us. He emptied Himself of the His Divinity; He was born in a stable to a Virgin into a poor family; He lived in a sort of a backwater community; and He died a truly painful, humiliating death.

Many saints have told us that He did this to redeem us, and although I don’t fully understand that, I think He also wanted to show us how to love. St. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa Theologica says that Christ’s Crucifixion was appropriate for two reasons: first, because we needed to be redeemed; and second, as an example of His love for us. But it seems to me that these two aspects of Jesus’ Crucifixion are inextricably intertwined. He redeemed us by showing us how to love. That is the love that each of us as ambassadors for Christ are called to.

And so when we enter a church, maybe what we should pray is this: “I Adore You, O Christ, and I praise You, for by Your Holy Cross, You have redeemed the world by showing us how to love.”

Judgemental Demons

By Mike Hey

“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” Romans 2:1

Man, can you believe it is September? While I love the Fall, I’m not looking forward to the next two months. The 2016 Presidential Election would have to occur simultaneously with Pope Francis’ Year of Mercy, coincidence? This election is presenting challenges to me, unlike anything I have experienced in my life before, and I am finding it hard to be merciful. Jesus calls on us to live lives of virtue and character. It’s hard, really hard, when I cannot get beyond the betrayal of basic common sense fundamental principles in favor of political correctness and relativism. Yes, I am opinionated and guilty of the sin of judgment. This is a frequent companion of mine in the Confessional, and a daily source of prayer. I could go on and on in a fact-filled political rant, but our blog is probably not the best or correct venue, and I’d risk friendships. There was a time when I thought that the Church should not get involved in offering political guidance to practicing Catholics, but with the litany of serious problems facing our country maybe now it should?

I don’t have the answers guys, and wish I would not look at our country through jaundiced eyes. I know God would never give me a situation(s) where He has not equipped or prepared me – but I am struggling with this. So the purpose of this blog is to try to exorcise some of my judgmental demons while offering some thoughts on how we can better deal with a difficult sin. Good luck, and hope this helps.

Happy Labor Day!

As we celebrate Labor Day, it's a chance to relax, fire up the grill and enjoy the last few hints of summer.  It's also a time to be thankful for our daily work.

It's often a struggle for today's catholic man, to balance all of his responsibilities.  I remember growing up in an era where the roles of responsibilities were more clearly defined.  Parent teacher conference?  My pop didn't know where the school was.  You've got a man cave where you watch the big game in a room in the basement?  My dad had one of those, it was called the house.  And Dad went to work.  And when he came home he was tired from his labor and we would support and care for him like a trainer in the corner of the ring, preparing our fighter to head out at the next bell.

Today is different.  Men are involved in homework, school plays, vacuuming and "listening".  As a result, our families are better off.  So are our hearts, as we enjoy tender relationships with those we provide for in a way our fathers never could.

But where do you draw the line?   How do you balance providing for them and nurturing them?  I can't bake cookies and do crafts all day, but I don't want to be a workaholic either.

God told Adam from the beginning that "by the sweat of your brow, you will eat you food."  But when Jesus was with Mary and Martha, he scorned Martha for her focus on chores rather than worship.  Paul calls for a Christian work ethic:  "if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."  (1 Timothy 5:8).   Then Matthew 6 tells us to stop storing up treasures for yourself on earth.

Today's great balancing act

So which is it?

A friend once gave me some sound advice.  Sit down with your wife and create a mission statement.  This is what your life, your marriage and your family is all about.  Then look at the work you must do to support that mission.  As you face daily decisions, always come back to, "Is this supporting the mission, or taking us away from the mission."


There have been times when I've had to make family sacrifices to help start a company and do my work.  It no longer was a tug of war between work and family.  It was Lisa and I agreeing that this needed to be done for the greater good of providing.  There have also been times when my ambition drives me beyond this endeavor, and I realize what I'm doing is taking us off course.

It is said that man has three basic needs in life:  love, purpose and significance.  For a long time, I looked toward my family for love and my work for purpose and significance.  My goal now is find my love, purpose and significance in Christ.  My work ethic is a gift from Him that allows me to provide for those I love and the community around me.

This Labor Day, we should be thankful, not just for our paychecks, but for the chance to have our daily work serve a greater purpose.  That spreadsheet your staying late working on isn't just for you own success, but for the greater significance of His glory.  


Well done, good and faithful servant!