Found in Failure

This past Sunday the Gospel reading (Mk 6:7-13) tells the story of Jesus sending out his apostles to preach the Gospel two-by-two, instructing them to take nothing - no comforts, no sustenance.  As my pastor pointed out in his homily, Jesus was basically setting the apostles up for failure.  He's so sure they will encounter troubles that He tells them what to do when their efforts bear no fruit -  "Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you,leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them.”

Although we hate to admit it, failure is a part of everyone's life - bad decisions, chasing the wrong thing, unexpected circumstances, unwarranted confidence, warped values, misunderstanding the situation, giving in to temptation.  One of my bigger failures (so far) has been thinking that I could change someone single-handedly: that I  - with the right attitude, approach, and execution - could play the role of savior.  When inevitably my efforts did not bring about the result I envisioned, the slice of humble pie I consumed did a number on my ego .


And for me, therein lies the rub - in failure reality does not meet expectation.  As I approached this or that situation, I expected a particular result to follow from my involvement. The reality of the situation moves it to a different outcome.  My perfect plan is not so foolproof, and I can't believe I am here again, ashamed of what I have done or my attitude in doing it.


This got me thinking about the story of Adam and Eve.  In giving into the temptation of eating from the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil, they enter into failure.  As the serpent suggested, they expected to become like God, coveting what that meant - but the reality was quite different, as creature can never become creator.  Their disobedience led them into shame - even to the point of hiding from the one who gave them life.


Do you ever do that?  Do you ever hide from God? I now I do,  It's almost always my first instinct when I know I've done something wrong...

And what does God the Father do - how does He choose to relate to his fallen creation?   He searches us out, lovingly calling our name.  He doesn't leave us there to wallow and rot in our failure - like any good father, He allows the natural consequences of the decision to take place, but He is right there with us as they are endured. And His love for us does not change because of it...

God calls us all to a life of perfection - "Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect" - and every one of us fails.  Everyday.  Our natural instinct is to run and hide, to be ashamed of our failure.  The question is, will we come out from our hiding place, and allow ourselves to be found.  We have that choice - we can stubbornly stay hidden...

Recently this scenario keeps popping into my head as I am praying after communion - I am hiding from God, feeling anxious and afraid because of something I have done.  I hear His whisper, softly but persistently calling my name.  "Come out, Jim.  Come let us walk together" The strength of the words grow, and the fears slowly fade, and I stand.  Whatever failures I was lost in are now forgotten, and I am found....