At the end of your rope...

Sometimes, you have this amazing feeling that God is an active part of your life.  You see His work in all you do.  The love you have with your spouse.  The miracle of your children.  The blessings of your work.  Even the sunrise.

But other times, you feel like you are surrounded by darkness.  When you are in a bad place spiritually, and everything seems dry and distant, a few things happen.  At first you feel guilty that you even feel this way.  It's one thing for people who don't practice their faith to feel down, I mean, they don't have the hope and joy that we have in our hearts, because they don't know Jesus.  But why do I get this way?

I'm a good servant for the most part.  I try to be a good man, and own up to my failings and continue to try and strive forward.  Shouldn't I be past having these feelings?  Where is all of this perspective I'm supposed to have?  If I should feel no evil for He is with me, then why am I feeling evil right now?  How can my marriage that felt so amazing just weeks ago, appear to be so fragile?  Where are You now, when I am lost?  How do I find my way back to You?

When your faith is weak, and you can't see Christ in your life, look for him in others.  The brothers you have built relationships with over the years in your family, up at church, at work, or friends will be the rock you need.  If you have men in your life, who radiate God's love, seek them out.  Tell them about you doubts.  Tell them you feel abandoned.  Give them the opportunity to be strong enough for the both of you.

Then, even if it's the last thing you want to do, go to mass.  Take Him into your body in the sacrament of the Eucharist as often as you can.  Go to adoration as often as you can.  Just put yourself in those situations and let it permeate your spirit.  There is no such thing as darkness.  There is only the absence of light.  Physically turn on all of the lights in your house.  Turn on music that speaks to you.  Go to the places that you encounter Him most.

And then wait.  Like all relationships there are seasons that you go through.  Times of great abundance, and times of need.  Remind yourself of this, and have confidence that this draught will pass, as long as you keep holding on, by whatever means necessary.  Don't let that chord be severed, and it will snap you back once it's stretched to it's limit.