Prepare to Stand

I just returned from a 1-week cruise with my beautiful bride, and none of our children.  Throughout the course of our marriage, my wife and I have managed to find some time away once every 10-12 years or so.  This is our second trip.  It was a welcome trip to be sure.  I apologize for the length of this post, but apparently rest and relaxation are the cure for writer’s block.

In the days, weeks, and months leading up to our journey, the preparation consumed me.  It had been so long coming, and I was so genuinely excited.  I researched the different food options, analyzed activities for our days on shore, memorized deck layouts, calculated the most affordable drink choices, researched local customs for dealing with vendors and cab drivers, and prepared my wardrobe.  Every moment I stole away to deal with any of the above, I felt closer to the place I truly wanted to be…on that ship.

Our plans included driving down the day before, and even that had me excited.  I couldn’t wait for the meaningful conversations my wife and I would have over 14 hours across the rural roads of Arkansas and Texas.  I’ll admit we didn’t solve any world problems, but we survived the drive still smiling, so I call that a success.  After a poor night’s sleep in our motel on Galveston Island, I decided to take a run down to the beach and watch the sun come up across the waters.  A few miles later I was standing at the edge of a pier, gazing out...at the dense fog that had rolled in.  I couldn’t see a thing.  I decided to head down and run along the beach itself.  If I couldn’t look out into the Gulf, at least I could run along the edge of the waves rolling in.  Around 100 yards into my beach run, I nearly stepped on the carcass of a dead crane that had washed ashore.  I have no idea what type of a sign that could be, but it certainly wasn’t pretty.  I continued back to the motel to watch the paramedics treat another future cruise passenger who had enjoyed his night a little too much and was suffering from alcohol poisoning.

After cleaning up, we headed to mass.  I really enjoy going to different churches on vacation and seeing the buildings and the people.  This was St. Patrick’s and it was over 100 years old.  The mass included a welcoming of the catechumens and candidates.  That group included an entire family with at least 5 young kids, all coming into the church at once.  It also included a man who was probably 80 years old, and a sponsor who I assume was his wife.  Why he chose to come into the church after all those years, I don’t know…but it was a beautiful sight.

We left mass with our timing perfectly planned for a leisurely drive to drop off the car and head to the port.  That’s when we received the first of many messages informing us that the fog had everything delayed at the harbor.  Come back in 2 hours.  Check again at 1pm.  Move your scheduled times back 4 hours.  Check again soon.  By now I was supposed to be enjoying a gluttonous buffet on the Lido Deck.  Instead we drove through town and stopped for lunch.  We stood, waiting for a table amidst other stranded travelers.  We enjoyed a wonderful lunch that wasn’t in the budget, and then drove around the corner to the sight of a police line and closed road.  Apparently a jumper had taken their own life.  As we enjoyed lunch, only 2 blocks from the waterfront, surrounded by thousands of happy travelers, and tons of colorful shops, someone had lost a battle to despair.

After all was said and done, we finally boarded 7 hours later than expected, and spent a good amount of that time standing.  We stood to board the shuttle.  We stood to go through customs.  We stood to check luggage.  We stood to embark.  I’m not complaining, because people are amazingly forgiving at the beginning of a vacation, and I was still extremely excited, but that’s how most of the day was spent.  Just standing.

The rest of the week was spectacular.  My beautiful bride had a smile that was somehow brighter than it had been in years.  She is always beautiful, so perhaps it was my own vision of her, seen through the rose-colored-SUNglasses of vacation, as it were, that made her appear even more radiant.

We stood to watch some funny events around the pool deck.  We stood to get fabulous burgers, and Mongolian food, and 3,000 calorie taco salads, and unlimited ice cream cones.  We stood to get in and see great shows and comedians.  One comedian had an “adult” show that was extremely funny, while still refreshingly clean and appropriate.  Another comedian had a “family” show where she talked about dressing up 12 year olds to look like hookers and pimps!  Obviously we do not share the same idea of what is appropriate family content.  But I digress.

All week I coated myself with protective sunscreen, armed myself with sunglasses and an oversized hat, and prepared myself with a backpack full of necessities.  I was fully ready for any adventure we might experience, as we stood to wait for cabs on the beautiful islands that we visited, and we enjoyed time together on the beaches, and walked through colorful, historic streets, and met with many interesting people.

At the end of the trip, we made it back to St. Patrick’s for our last mass in Galveston and stood in the back of the church.  They were preparing for their own upcoming St. Patrick’s Day festival, and selling various raffle and game tickets, which reminded me of Holy Infant parish back home.  It hit me there that my vacation was nearly over.

After many hours on the road home, and a rainstorm that lasted the entire length of Texas, we stopped for dinner in Arkadelphia, Arkansas.  We stopped at a chain restaurant called Chicken Express.  As we walked through the door, this place made Chick-fil-A look like a liberal coffee house!  A half-dozen mounted deer trophies greeted me from the far wall.  Countless pictures of the local high school sports teams.  Bible verses and sayings everywhere.  There were two that hit me directly, however.  The first was 2 Corinthians 5:21 which was printed at the bottom of my receipt.  If you memorize that bible verse and recite it on your next visit, you’ll get 50 cents off your meal!  For those of you planning a trip to Arkadelphia, you can thank me later!

The next thing that hit me was the large shield on the wall, staring at me as I filled my iced tea.  It was “The Full Armor of God.”  If you haven’t seen it before, this shield is an adaptation and slight paraphrasing of Ephesians 6:10-17.  I’ve attached the picture I took, and included the writing below:

“Stand firm then, with the BELT OF TRUTH buckled around your waist, with the BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the GOSPEL OF PEACE.  In addition to all this, take up the SHIELD OF FAITH with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the HELMET OF SALVATION and the SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, which is the Word of God.  Therefore put on the FULL ARMOR OF GOD, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to STAND YOUR GROUND.  And after having done all, STAND.

And so, as I journey back to reality, and real life, and have to deal with

people who aren’t experiencing alcohol-induced-false-happiness, I put on my armor.  I was not ready to go back to work, and didn’t know how to prepare to exit my vacation.  Now, however, I’ve been given my orders, and I am ready to STAND.

We journeyed into paradise.  We had some of the most beautiful views of creation in front of us.  We were surrounded by people from countless lands and cultures.  We enjoyed exotic foods and company.  We participated in two Lenten masses at the beginning & end of our trip, in a church that had survived many hurricanes over its 100+ year life.  Keep your armor on and your eyes peeled, because you never know.  I experienced the blinding fog, and the ocean’s grandeur, and blowing storms.  But after all I saw and experienced, in the end, God came in a whisper…in a chicken restaurant in Arkansas!

(Take a look at 1 Kings 19:11-12)

Written by Matt Buehrig

Inspired by Wendy Buehrig

Listening to the Silence

I am a left brained person, very analytical and methodical.  For you Meyers Briggs people, my personality type is ISFJ (what is that?).  Needless to say, I feel most comfortable and effective when I am solving a problem.  I've written about this before, but felt the need to explore deeper into it as part of my Lenten journey.

I recently finished a book called 'The Power of Silence' by Robert Cardinal Sarah.  It really challenged my sensibilities, as it strongly advocates for what I would call the 'Anti-Jim'.  What I felt  it was pushing me to do is to recognize that I use all of the noise in my life as a tool to keep my mind busy so that I do not have to think and reflect on the 'harder' aspects of existence.  It helped me to be cognizant of the fact that I continuously and constantly search out problems to be analyzing and thinking about to effectively build a wall with the purpose of keeping out any deeper and more substantial lines of thought.

Basically I have conditioned my inner life to be uncomfortable in silence - what Sarah calls the Suffocation Syndrome -  and so when I find myself in the midst of it, or even when I intentionally seek it out as I have been doing this Lent, I am very antsy and uncomfortable.  I'm not talking just silence in terms of no exterior noise - I also mean silencing my heart and mind from all the thoughts and gymnastics that can go on in there.  For me, its a great Lenten practice.

If you are a reader I highly recommend the book - lots of great messages.  If you aren't, below are some of those messages that touched me - maybe they will challenge you also...

"If there is an illness that comes from noise, we would have to call it the suffocation syndrome. I notice it through the experience of candidates who come on retreat. Memories, desires, hurts, and fears of which they are unaware and that lie at the bottom of their souls resurface. In their everyday routine, the constant influx of news, meetings, and various activities have ceaselessly covered up these voices in the depths of their being and allowed them no opportunity to reemerge into consciousness. Silence and solitude reveal them. Since the discovery is not always pleasant, and the one concerned is rather at a loss, he tries to keep them outside the field of consciousness by maintaining the permanent noise that prevents them from becoming manifest."

"The proliferation of information on demand, of sounds and images in the last century or so is stupefying. Man’s sonic and visual landscape no longer has anything in common with that of our grandparents. I imagine that it must take a certain spiritual fortitude to protect oneself from this invasion, not by a wholesale rejection, but by a proper asceticism. Solzhenitsyn rightly remarked that although there is a right to information, there is also a right not to be informed."

"Finally, I wonder whether the voice that the modern world seeks to stifle with incessant noise and movement might not be the one that tells us: “Remember that you are dust and that you will return to dust.” It is a well-known fact that our society characteristically ignores death. It is understandable: Without God, without eternal life, without Christ, and without redemption, how can anyone bear the thought of death?"

"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noises and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. . . . The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls. The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us. Jesus is always waiting for us in silence. In this silence he listens to us and speaks to our souls. And there, we will hear his voice. . . . In this silence we find a new energy and a real unity. God’s energy becomes ours, allowing us to perform things well. There is unity of our thoughts with his thoughts, of our prayers with his prayers, of our actions with his actions, of our life with his life."

I’ll Take The Pearson’s Over The Patriots

By Sean Walsh

While Foles and Brady were marching their respective teams up and down the field on Superbowl 52, my mind was somewhere else. I wasn’t concerned about the teams. I follow neither the Eagles or the Patriots. I follow the Pearson’s. When the game ended on a Hail Mary pass that sealed the fate of the Patriots, I knew the fate of Jack Pearson was about to be revealed. Who is Jack Pearson and why do we care? Jack is fictional. Here is why we Dad’s should care.

The show is called “This Is Us”. Watch it. With the mass unmasking of sexual predators and immoral men making the news, Jack Pearson is a rare breath of fresh air we so desperately need. Television Dad’s are more likely shown as buffoons masquerading as men. Men who dread commitment, feel stifled by marriage and tempted by lifestyles lacking virtue or accountability, and often burdened by the many demands of children and family life. Audiences laugh at their pre-pubescent behavior, simplistic reasoning and childish attempts to avoid guilt and punishment at all costs. It’s getting pretty damn old, isn’t it?

Enter Jack. He’s doing something that TV men are rarely allowed to do or be celebrated for. Jack leads with his heart. His family is his whole world. He takes great pride in raising his children well and keeping his wife happy. He and his wife Rebecca are a team of one. He is compassionate, loving and completely other-centered. He is revered by his family because he loves so deeply and honestly. And get this Dad’s – he sets an enormously high bar for his children, not because he had some intense career or achieved some great external accomplishment. He did it because he knew it was his responsibility. In one classic scene Jack is asked by a doctor treating him for burns why he went back into his burning house to save his daughter’s dog. Jack’s response, “Because I love the girl who loves the dog.” It is that same fire that Jack uses to save his family from what would eventually take his own life in a gut-wrenching post-Superbowl episode that all us fans of the show knew was coming.

Jack loves his wife. Jack loves his children. Every one of us aspires to make the best for his family, out of even the worst situations, and to be admired, respected, and loved as a victor of virtue. Jack Pearson graciously surpasses modern day TV expectations as a husband and father. He portrays the delicate balance of fatherhood – the compassionate and gentle rock whose virtuous spirit lives on in his children. But the very best portrayal of Jack is this – he’s broken. Jack is far from perfect. His past includes an alcoholic father, a depressed and almost non-existent mother, the Vietnam War, work pressure, etc. He falls, but he battles. He fights and he fights because he knows exactly what’s at stake. Ultimately, he wins the battle against the devil not for himself – but for his wife and children. That’s pretty iconic and not often seen on TV shows. Jack is me. Jack is you. I want to be a lot more like Jack.

Lent

By Fred Vilbig

In the past I’ve tried to write about the greatness of God. He created the Heavens, all the stars and stellar complexes. He created atoms, all subatomic particles, and the basic forces that appear to make up everything. And he arranged them all and continues to arrange them all into stunningly beautiful sunrises, sunsets, starlit nights, rainbows, flowers, children, and all of the other astonishingly beautiful things we encounter in our daily lives. And He created all of the angels, powers, dominions, principalities, and all of the other things that inhabit the Heavens. God is truly omnipotent.

We know that Jesus is the second Person of the Trinity Who is God because He told us He was. “The Father and I are one.” “Before Abraham was, I am.” As C. S. Lewis noted, Jesus was either a liar, insane, or God. Since He rose from the dead, He proved He was God.

And even though He was God, He emptied Himself of His Divinity and became man. He so emptied Himself of His Divinity that when He cast out demons, they only recognized Him as the Holy One of Israel, the Messiah: merely human; not divine. Why do I say that? If the demons had realized that they were in the presence of God, they wouldn’t have had to have been cast out. They would have fled before He arrived. For them, to be in the presence of God would have been unbearably painful. Even though He was God, Jesus so totally emptied Himself of His Divinity that not even the demons realized Who they were talking to.

At almost every sporting event, we see someone holding a sign that says, “John 3:16”: “For God so loved the world that he sent his only son so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” So many times we focus on the great love of God for us, which is true. But for a moment, I want to focus on the other aspect of what God did for us.

Our society wants us to think that everyone is okay; sin is a trifling matter. But how immense is the horror of sin that it was necessary for God to become man in order to overcome the effects of sin? And not only that, He died a painful and humiliating death to redeem us from our sins. The Son of God, consubstantial with the Father, the Word through Whom all things were made, emptied Himself of His Divinity, became man, and died on the Cross, all to overcome sin. I don’t think we appreciate the immensity of the tragedy of sin.

I think it is profitable for us to keep these things in mind, particularly as we enter into the season of Lent. God gave up his Divinity and eventually his life. What are we giving up for Lent? How do we plan to repent and turn away from sin? God did his part; now it’s our turn.

Happy Lent!

Zacchaeus and C

Entering Jericho, Jesus passed through the city.  Jesus was just passing through.  What were his plans?  The crowds were building, following him.  Zacchaeus was trying to see what Jesus was like but being small of stature, was unable to do so because of the crowd.  He risked Jesus staying his course and coming his way.  He ran some distance ahead in Jesus’ projected direction and climbed a tall tree.  When Jesus came to the spot, he looked up and said, “Zacchaeus, hurry down, I mean to stay at your house today.”  He quickly descended and welcomed him with delight.  When this was observed, everyone began to murmur.  Jesus stopped intentionally to be seen and heard not only for Zacchaeus, but for everyone who might indict, who might desire to know healing, who might be lost, who might not know demons and for those who did.  Zacchaeus stood his ground ….  The Son of Man has come to search out and save what was lost.

Luke 19:1,3,5-7,8,10

We all have our demons.  They bring intense pain, loss.  They attempt to smother who we are.  Many can bring a lifetime of struggle and challenge, appearing monumental to overcome.  To us, personally, most are masked addictions; drugs, alcohol, gaming, guns, pornography, envy, rage, idolatry, egocentrism, resentment, deceit, greed, power.  However, to those who know us, our friends, spouses, children, they can recognize, unveil our demons.  The demons recognize them and fear them as they did/do Jesus.  The demons retreat, surrender. 

            Jesus does not say much about demons.  They remain vague.  He drives them out.  Jesus is all about restoration, peace, love and dignity.  He generously demonstrates and gives healing, light, mercy, joy.  He identifies.  He models for us.  He invites, expects us to follow him and do the same in his name. 

C

we sit in a booth.  pizza lies like shattered glass on the table between us

i remember …

            8 years ago ms. C told me “f’n science is stupid”

today she tells me …

“my demons are hiding, waiting to come out”

obsession, paranoia, blindness emerge

scars like cryptic dominoes pock her palms and wrists

            tiny pools of water collect in the dimples failing to wash away the pain

pain?

            i was 10.  what’s love look like?

            father … angry his daughter takes a cigarette from countertop

                        mother … watches while smoking, father brands his anger

            do other kids get lovin’ this way?

ms. C’s given birth to 2 babies with 1 man in 5 years

the 2^nd child died days after she was born

            she thought he loved her; he thought she loved him 

at the fork, each wandered along different paths

depression, a parasite on loss, bore deeply into C’s soul

            she drank bourbon. shot heroin. drank more bourbon. shot more heroin

more demons came. she did not recognize them. they entered

            a friend she barely knew by name o.d.’d and wrapped herself from life

aliens in uniform stole her precious child

where is her daughter and do her guardians smoke?

friends lie, turn on her

big man behind high bench sends her to a cage for 2 years

gates open, C’s free to go.  she fears demons hidden within

auto license revoked for 11 months

attempt to deceive failed. drug test failed

metrolink pass takes her everywhere & nowhere

            the closest bus drops her off 1.5 hours before her work begins at 3 pm

            it does not run at 11 pm.  3 connections later bring her home at 1:30 am

everyone knows her as bad; addictions, depression define her,

but that “is not who I am”    

C speaks truth

            upon her words i focus

they’re whispers of the Holy Spirit … HOPE

            HOPE

the demons are coming out

            they have been seen

            they know

ms. C has joined Zacchaeus in standing her ground.

                                                            *C’s initial has been changed to protect her privacy

Help others who battle constantly.

Take a supper date with your daughter or son.

Have a beer with a friend, break bread together and talk.

Run or walk a 5k.

Join a discussion at PX-90.

Pray, listen, read in our adoration chapel.

Family, friend time on the deck, in the park, in the neighborhood.

Immerse in a CRHP weekend.

Take a walk in the woods with your spouse.

Put yourself in the Mass.

Join a service organization.

Take your family on an outing where connecting with one another is of greater value than the venue.

Live the sacraments grand and small.

What demon-breakers come to your mind? 

How might God be calling you to act?

These are mere samples of God’s fruits, the gifts Jesus came to give, the gifts we are asked to give freely.

Demons hate these.  They become exposed.  They tremble.