Let Me Only Know Your Will

Oh, Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul, I adore you. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me. Tell me what I should do; give me your orders. I promise to submit myself to all that you desire of me and to accept all that you permit to happen to me. Let me only know your will. 

Joseph Cardinal Mercier (1851-1926)

This prayer came to me on a card I received while attending a parish mission a few years back.  For a long time it served as a barely used bookmark in my Bible at home, sitting on the end table, collecting dust.  Last summer, as carpool ended I realized I had some free time between mass and the need to get to work.  I decided to give that time to the Lord, and try and listen to His voice through His holy scripture.  At some point I took a harder look at the bookmark I was holding, and ever since I have been reciting the words above as a precursor to my scripture reading.

Like alot of things in life, nothing really happened at first.  I didn't all of the sudden feel a greater affinity for the Holy Spirit, or sense his presence more often.  But with time, and the recurring themes streaming through my head, I started to ask myself some questions, like:

 - How often do I call upon the Holy Spirit? 

 - What place does He have at the table, if any, when I am facing difficult decisions or unwanted suffering?

 - Am I able to recognize His presence in the circumstances and coincidences of everyday life?

As I contemplated these things, something amazing happened - I started to notice patterns in some everyday situations of my life.  Not all the time, not in everything - yet there was...is...something there.  The Spirit moving within life, my life, this life - interacting, enlightening, reinforcing, providing presence.   

One example...While out to dinner with a friend, I ordered some fish tacos.  I often order fish tacos - my wife does not like seafood or Mexican food, so when I am not with her I indulge these cravings.  But this time was different - for the first time that I can remember there were bones in my fish.  Still craving, I just pulled out the bones and enjoyed the meal, and the company. 

THE VERY NEXT MORNING, I was at adoration, in Christs presence, in silence, with a small spiritual treatise on how to live with abundance.   In the chapter I was reading the author is making the point that it is important to carefully look at things we earn or are given for any hidden parts that could lead to sin or disobedience.  If we do not keep an eye out for those things, we could consume them along with the good that God wants us to have in the gift He is giving.  To drive home his point, the author draws upon the analogy of eating fish, with its inherent possibility of swallowing the bones if one is not watchful....

I about fell out of my chair when I read that...

Now, one can chalk that up to coincidence if one wanted, but those would be some loooong odds of everything lining up just perfectly for those two events to happen at that time, in that order, one seemingly after another...so I choose to believe it was God's Holy Spirit moving, guiding, loving...

 This example, and others like it, have moved to reinforce the truth of the Spirit in my life.  That has turned my attention to the 2nd part of the prayer above - the words that ask for my surrender to the will of my Father.  I often stop after the words 'I promise...'  and wonder, do I really, can I really?  I've come to know that only with God's grace can that movement of my will be made, and so I pray for that Grace, for myself and for all of us...

So as Pentecost approaches, and as once again we commemorate the promise Christ made to send us the Holy Spirit, I challenge us all to make space for this gift in our lives, in our hearts.  Like all Christs' promises, the Holy Spirit is there for us to grasp onto and hold as we navigate this world - yet it is our choice to accept that invitation. 

Lets help each other see and accept this gift...