The Spotlight Effect

It is the middle of Lent.  I should be well into the process of spending more time on the development of my interior life - digging deeper into my attitudes, motivations and decision making.  This kind of self awareness - if grounded in prayer, fasting and alms giving -  is healthy and should lead me to a better understanding of who I really am , and how far I have to go to become the man God created me to be.

But there is another side of self-awareness that seems to me to be unhealthy, turning my thoughts and actions towards comparison and judgement, leading to a more selfish worldview.


The type of self-awareness I am referring to is identified as 'The Spotlight Effect' in the article "Stop Being So Self Conscious."  It basically states that in all social situations we tend to overemphasize  ourselves and believe that everyone else also has their focus on us.  Better yet, put in the words of the author "There is no experience you’ve had that you were not at the absolute center of."  We have an overwhelming feeling that others are concerned with:

The clothing I am wearing...
The things I choose to eat...
My hair style (or lack of one)...
My pants size...
The things I say...
How I am parenting my kids...
The jokes I tell...
How much I had to drink...
How long I kneel and pray at church...
The music I listen to...
Who I hang out with...
The type of car that I drive, and how old it is...
The neighborhood where I live...

As the author points out,  study after study has shown that others really don't notice these things about us - probably cause they are stuck in their own self-made spotlight.  Yet I can attest from my own personal experience that this behavior is difficult to break free from.

One of the consequences of allowing this type of self-consciousness to hold sway in our decisions is that we tend to hold back to avoid doing anything in our self-made spotlight that brings judgement.  As the article correctly surmises,  "When looking back on our lives, we often regret our failures to act, and one reason for these failures is our worry about embarrassment, what others will think of us."

My challenge to you and I today is to recognize the times we are feeling the heat of this invisible force, and to name it for what it really is - pride.

So today and throughout the rest of Lent, when such situations present themselves in our lives, my prayer is that each of us can meet the challenge with humility, and act in love and compassion.

The only light that will be shining on you then will be the love of Christ...