Advent Waiting

Waiting….anticipation….expectation…hoping

In my life I think I have experienced at least 2 distinct forms of waiting. The first I relate more with anticipation. In our early years, as my wife and I began to settle in to our life together, there was an anticipation surrounding our desires to start a family. After we confirmed that Karen was pregnant, we knew that in 9 short months by God’s grace our longings would be fulfilled. In the cauldron of emotions that were stirring within us as we waited, fear of the unknown was definitely one of the ingredients, yet its effect was subtle and constrained under the overwhelming hope and confidence we had in what the future held for us. It was anticipation…

The second form of waiting I know too well is that of wanting badly a certain outcome to a situation. The key difference between the first form described above and this form can be summed up in the words ‘wanting badly’. When I was waiting to hear back from the doctor after the biopsy performed on my prostate, I wanted badly for the diagnosis to be benign. When my son was in need of a kidney transplant, and the days and months went by as we watched his health fail, I wanted badly for a donor to come forward and provide a kidney. This form of waiting has its own cauldron of emotions, with similar ingredients, but in much different proportions. The presence of fear is palpable, present in much larger doses, while confidence is barely perceivable. Things are questioned that before were seemingly solid. Walls and foundations built up and crafted over years and years can suddenly tumble in a day…

As I think of Advent and its focus on waiting, the person of John the Baptist naturally comes to mind. From what I can discern in the scriptures, he also experienced both these forms of waiting. His first encounter with Jesus was from the womb, as he leapt from the excitement. From then on he held onto the anticipation of what the future held, the coming of the Messiah. When Jesus came out to the Jordan to be baptized, John knew the moment had come, calling him the Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the world. He then witnessed the Holy Spirits coronation of Jesus as the Christ, the Son of God.

Yet as the readings from this past Sunday recount, John seemed to also experience the 2nd form of waiting. The event he was waiting for - along with all the other disciples - the outcome he wanted badly was the earthly reign of Christ. As he waited for this to happen, and experienced roadblocks both public and person, doubt settled in. Alone in prison and facing an uncertain future, John seems to have lost his foundation, and questions the legitimacy of Jesus as the Christ.

This thought gives me great comfort. If John the Baptist - someone who Jesus says “among those born of women there has been none greater than John the Baptist” – if he experienced these fears and doubts, my own moments of disbelief and misgiving are understandable.

The question is, where will I put my hope when these moments come? Jesus says to John, as he says to us, to listen to his words and believe in the acts he has performed. This is where we must place our trust. Easier said than done…especially in times of waiting…