Joseph

As I exited the burn unit at Barnes Hospital, I carried a very upset little guy who’d just had his face scrubbed of dead tissue to prevent scarring and to promote healing. Tears ceased, but soaked his shirt. I, too, was extremely frustrated after 4 hours, 3 waiting with paperwork and 1 of care. As I negotiated the maze of hallways to the parking garage, the two of us attracted numerous glances, for he was a black child carried by a white male. Approaching the tunnel to the garage, we were intercepted by an angel, a tiny hospital volunteer, all 4 feet 8 inches of her with more than 80 years of living experience.

“Now, now, who do we have here?” Our African American heavenly asked. She reached up and brushed away a few of the toddler’s remaining tears.

“This is Josh, my foster son,” I replied breaking a smile and ready to be in my car headed home.

She gently reached up pinching my shirt collar choking me, inviting my eyes down to her eye level. “He is your son and you call him son. You are his father … and don’t you ever forget that!” Her voice pleasant, full of compassion filled me. She released my shirt and smoothed a bit of the suave on Josh’s face. “Now the two of you have a good day.” She blessed us with a smile. I needed to hear her words. They have traveled within me since that day. Were there tougher days ahead? You bet!

While Mary was busy pondering, what was Joseph doing?

I imagine foster father was not on Joseph’s radar. Nobody asked him to consider being a foster father. I can’t help but consider that Joseph might have been a bit unhappy, at least frustrated, with the message in his dream (perhaps nightmare at the time). “Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” He had no formal training to be a foster parent. Where’d this child come from in relationship to Mary? Holy Spirit ... what or who is that? … and situations didn’t improve.

Joseph fielded countless questions pertaining to Mary’s pregnancy. He was forced to travel for the sake of census ensuring higher taxes while sheltering in sub-standard housing on the fly. Ordinary shepherds and travelers brought God’s message to the stables. Wise men dropped by with expensive gifts. Little did Joseph know that when he and Mary left they’d flee to a foreign land to avoid Herod’s slaughter of boys. Simpleton Simeon grants death a welcome after he’s seen the Anointed of the Lord. He also comments on Mary’s future pierced with pain and loss. Anna, a strange elderly prophetess, a woman Joseph never met proclaimed the greatness of the child. Old man Zechariah with his doubts and dumbness began to speak when the young couple presented their child.

After sweating blood in the fear of losing a child, Joseph finds his son in the temple. Most painful and troublesome, his son denies Joseph saying, “Did you not know I had to be in my Father’s house?”

Many consider Joseph to be ordinary, a scriptural footnote. Very little is written of him and yet, we, as fathers (and mothers) know there is nothing ordinary about providing for the welfare of a child, but most importantly, loving … loving unconditionally. Ordinary folks have been elevated over time in history with strength and wisdom to share their insights. Finally, the loneliest and most painful moment arrived for Joseph. After years of preparation, all fathers must let their children grow, travel their journeys making their own decisions. I know Joseph taught Jesus to find beauty, grace, wisdom, and strength in the ordinary. Jesus mastered parables using the ordinary to expose the extraordinary of the Kingdom.

As fathers, I think we’re in good company with Joseph. We (mothers included) have so many distractors to challenge us as parents. Good times to share conversation and experiences belong around the Advent wreath. Do you spend quality time with your children? How conditional is your love for your children? Where is your time spent? What competes for it? What do you value with them? Have you given up on a tough situation? Are you paying attention to the “ordinary” in your life and finding the extraordinary wisdom and strength that exists? What do you share with others concerning these experiences? Share with your children, the spiritual insights you have discovered in the everyday so that they, too, may seek and find our Lord’s blessings! Have your children share theirs with you! Love them, embrace them in all their messiness with your entire heart and soul.